I always used to joke and say,
“when I finally get engaged my ring will be so big I’ll need an arm sling to hold my hand up.”
But, when it came down to it, I really did not care what the ring looked like. I really didn’t.
I’ll never forget the moment a few months ago when I was sitting with Mo in our favorite breakfast spot (JoJo Apples), and he asked me if I’d like to go ring shopping. My immediate response was no. His feelings were hurt, and looking back now I guess I really can’t blame him.
I think he took it as a lack of interest, or not wanting to get engaged. I tried to explain that I just felt like I wanted him to give me what he wanted to give me. I didn’t want to cause him stress financially, or any stress at all. I gave him absolutely no guidelines. Didn’t point out one picture. Didn’t look in one store window. No mention of shape, size, style.
I listen to some of my recently engaged friends talk about the excitement of ring shopping, and maybe I missed out on a little of that. I don’t know, what do you think is better- shopping and doing it together or being totally surprised?
I don’t know, but I do know that the ring he chose, or rather had made for me, is perfect. It’s me. And it’s what he wanted to give me. And every single time I look at it, I smile and I feel so lucky.
I basically had nothing to go on. Forget the size, shape, clarity or even the …cost. I was able to once (for 30 seconds) force Elisa into a random mall jewelry store (I hate the mall btw). In the store I got her to get a ring size – which turned out to be … Wrong. Awesome.
Despite all of the difficulties and Elisa not giving me anything to go on – I believe I was able to get her the ring she always wanted – or at least she feels that way now. She loves it and it a reminder to me everyday of how well I know her.
I’ve been a bridesmaid 12 ½ times (one didn’t actually make it to the alter which accounts for the half), traveled to the tropics, and as far away as Barcelona and Rome, to be by the sides of my best friends on their big day. Hours upon hours of shopping for dresses, learning how to bustle and bow, searching for the perfect pair of wedding shoes, tying pennies to hundreds of Save the Date scratch off cards, soaking wine bottles to loosen labels and replace with customized wedding ones, wrapping favors, doing calligraphy on hundreds of envelopes, folding programs, filling favor bags of candy, running around foreign cities on the search for random last minute items, planning bridal showers and bachelorette parties, baking penis cakes, writing wedding speeches, editing the wedding speeches of others, even writing other people’s vows.
If I counted the dollars spent over the last two decades, I would easily have a down payment for a house by now. Instead, I have memories, funny photos (some not appropriate for this blog), lots of laugh lines (and a few scars- dancing on the bar in stilettos has proven dangerous in recent years) and some best friends who owe me big time. Being single for oh so long, I’m not sure anyone ever believed my cash-in day would come. I certainly didn’t! Although I’ve been in so many weddings and to so many more, being the bride is definitely different and certainly something new.
Thank you for checking out my wedding website! Nobody is more shocked than I am that I’m engaged!
I want to write these blog entries because anything really extraordinary that has ever happened to me has blown by in a whirlwind. So, I want to make sure that I stop, breathe, reflect on and remember this very important time in my life. Plus, I thought it would be more fun to take my friends along for the ride- rather than just having a traditional wedding website.
This isn’t your typical “I’ve dreamed of my wedding day my whole life” kind of blog. In fact, I honestly wasn’t sure if I’d ever walk down the aisle. Up until one year ago, I was single for years, in a going nowhere relationship for 6 years before that… I watched most of my friends get married, and my younger sister and much younger brother say “I do”. Then, out of nowhere, I met my fiance. I thought the whole “when you know, you know” was a bunch of BS- but low and behold, I met him and I knew. No games, no questioning. One year later, we’re engaged.
After being in 12 1/2 weddings (see next blog) and as a bride in my 30s, I want to do things my- or rather- our way. I hope you’ll comment, make suggestions, interact and join us on this journey!